COMPETITION WINNER! Sotheran Wins The Coveted Top Table Seat

Alex Sotheran was elevated to Royalty Status last night, as it emerged that he had won a seat at the Salter Wedding 2006 Head Table.

On the special night, Sotheran will sit on a throne carved out of pure gold, and converse with the likes of THE NEWLYWEDS, JAIME'S MUM AND DAD, DANNY'S FAT MUM and even BEST MAN BARNSEY and his MISSUS.

Sotheran had to fight off very stiff competition from the literally billions of entries for the competition, but in the end, the PISSED-UP JUDGE handed over the prize to Alex for this winning entry:

"I should be given the prize cos I have been posting on your rotten website for the past five years. That level of devotion surely deserves reward and what greater reward than to be sat at the top table at the wedding of the century. I have enclosed a picture of my girlfriend, Kokoro Nakimoto, on our recent camping trip."
Alex Von Sotheran

Alex was said to be 'delighted' with the victory, and was even said to be overheard commenting that he may even splash out on a new pair of socks for the special day.
"I may even splash out on a new pair of socks for the special day," he revealed to one insider.

Meanwhile, in other exciting wedding developments, The Pigeon Loft can now exclusively reveal that guests at the Reception will get the chance to compete for The Salter Wedding 2006 Pool Champion Trophy!

This will be a specially engraved Trophy, bought at vast personal expense from Parkgate Trophies, and will be presented to the overall winner of the pool tournament at the end of the night, if everyone is still standing up and on friendly terms with each other.

"I've always wanted to buy a trophy from Parkgate Trophies," revealed Salter, last night. "I'd go past the shop on the bus and used to dream of the day I could go in and buy a specially engraved trophy of my own. Now that special day has arrived, and my life is complete. Fuck it, I might even buy two, do you think I'd get a discount for buying in bulk?"