Undercover Scientific Experiment Proves Website Visitors are Clinically Brain Dead

Salter today revealed the results of a SECRET SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT he had been working on, undercover, for the last fortnight or so.

Salter, a part-time scientist whose discoveries include the cure for WORK-SHY STUDENTS amongst many others, today revealed that he had been in the employment of Bill Gates for some time, working undercover as a FORUM ADMINISTRATOR.

Gates's strategy had been been to lull website visitors into using a 'comfortable and simplistic forum' for about five years, and then, without warning, to change the Forum into a highly sophisticated state-of-the-art Utopia.
The experiment on human nature had been to determine whether the website visitors would embrace the new technology and allow themselves to climb further up the evolutionary ladder, or whether they would kick up a minor fuss and demand the older, simpler Forum back immediately because their tiny minds would not be able to cope with the change.

"It was all a good laugh really," joked Salter today (pictured above in a different, un-related experiment). "Bill was very kind to me and rarely demanded bumming. He was the perfect Gentlemen and rewarded me at weekends with pouches of duty-free tobacco. It was a perfect arrangement."

However, the results of the experiment were said to be HIGHLY DISTURBING and NOT FIT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION.
Rumours abound that, upon seeing the new-style Forum, the majority of website visitors began SHITTING IN THEIR PANTS at the abrupt change, and one visitor was even believed to have hung himself in protest. In fact, mass suicide was only very recently averted when the old Forum was hastily put back online.

Bill Gates was said to be 'disappointed' by the results, and he is believed to have confided to one source that "The human race are slowly devolving back into Monkeys, especially Alex."
Bill Gates was unavailable for comment at time of going to press but a Microsoft Spokesman told us "If you put in that bit about the bumming, we will sue."